Open letter to my ex
Because posting it on a page where the whole damn world can see seems easier than telling you in person.
Dear previously beloved, we are gathered here today to express my pent up emotions in a creative and constructive way. Well, maybe not that constructive. Let's be real, this isn't the most healthy way to go about this but at least now I can feel all poetic and shit.
Anyway, as most things go, let's start with the good to ease you in, wrap you up nicely in a warm fluffy blanket of praise and then wham! Sneak up from behind and present you with a nice big plate of the bad.
The Good:
I'm not gonna lie, there was a lot of good. You let me open myself to the intense, the rebellious, you helped my rediscover teenagerdom as the wild fun ride it is meant to be.You introduced me to Wicca, which helped my soul and you forced me to pursue an acting role which I loved but was so scared of.
You believed in me, in a way that made me believe in myself for the first time.
I was out and proud with you, feeling like I was truly myself.
You made me feel special, made me believe that I was a unique, loving person who deserved to be loved.
You held me like I was your safety and you were mine.
And it worked; I felt the safest I'd ever been.
God, how I loved you, and I think you loved me too.
Which makes it all the more shittier how it came crashing down.
I felt it, knew it perhaps, but being a generally paranoid and insecure person, I thought it best to ask you and put my newly improved (thanks to you) communication skills to use.
You assured me everything was fine.
And so it seemed, until the next week when I felt it again and again asked you.
Again you insisted everything was okay.
And thus feeling unable to trust my gut and feeling guilty for bothering you with my seemingly unfounded insecurities, I pushed the feelings down for some time, occasionally breaking down into uncontrollable sobbing - relationship goals, ya know?
And even on the day you ended it I headed towards you insisting that I must be imagining things, that you would've said something sooner if there were problems, right?? This couldn't be the end, could it??
But it was.
And it was fucking terrible.
You ended it in a good way, yada yada, thanks for that I guess. You didn't give me a real reason though and that was agonising. I'm guessing you just fell out of love, so telling me that wouldn't have made it any better.
So life sucked.
A lot.
For quite a while.
And then I thought I was better. (Spoiler alert: I wasn't)
I heard you were in a new relationship, eh that hurt but what are you gonna do?
Oh.
You've been in it for how long now?
Oh.
On the very day you broke up with me, you went out with this person?
haha lollll
(kill me
kill me
kill me)
I thought we had a pretty serious relationship loll
my mistake
(kill me
kill me
kill me)
I hate that you seem happier now.
I hate that I hate that.
I hate that I can't hate you.
It'd be easier.
I miss you,
but not exactly you
I miss what we were
what you were
what I thought you were
I'm sorry
Dear previously beloved, we are gathered here today to express my pent up emotions in a creative and constructive way. Well, maybe not that constructive. Let's be real, this isn't the most healthy way to go about this but at least now I can feel all poetic and shit.
Anyway, as most things go, let's start with the good to ease you in, wrap you up nicely in a warm fluffy blanket of praise and then wham! Sneak up from behind and present you with a nice big plate of the bad.
The Good:
I'm not gonna lie, there was a lot of good. You let me open myself to the intense, the rebellious, you helped my rediscover teenagerdom as the wild fun ride it is meant to be.You introduced me to Wicca, which helped my soul and you forced me to pursue an acting role which I loved but was so scared of.
You believed in me, in a way that made me believe in myself for the first time.
I was out and proud with you, feeling like I was truly myself.
You made me feel special, made me believe that I was a unique, loving person who deserved to be loved.
You held me like I was your safety and you were mine.
And it worked; I felt the safest I'd ever been.
God, how I loved you, and I think you loved me too.
Which makes it all the more shittier how it came crashing down.
I felt it, knew it perhaps, but being a generally paranoid and insecure person, I thought it best to ask you and put my newly improved (thanks to you) communication skills to use.
You assured me everything was fine.
And so it seemed, until the next week when I felt it again and again asked you.
Again you insisted everything was okay.
And thus feeling unable to trust my gut and feeling guilty for bothering you with my seemingly unfounded insecurities, I pushed the feelings down for some time, occasionally breaking down into uncontrollable sobbing - relationship goals, ya know?
And even on the day you ended it I headed towards you insisting that I must be imagining things, that you would've said something sooner if there were problems, right?? This couldn't be the end, could it??
But it was.
And it was fucking terrible.
You ended it in a good way, yada yada, thanks for that I guess. You didn't give me a real reason though and that was agonising. I'm guessing you just fell out of love, so telling me that wouldn't have made it any better.
So life sucked.
A lot.
For quite a while.
And then I thought I was better. (Spoiler alert: I wasn't)
I heard you were in a new relationship, eh that hurt but what are you gonna do?
Oh.
You've been in it for how long now?
Oh.
On the very day you broke up with me, you went out with this person?
haha lollll
(kill me
kill me
kill me)
I thought we had a pretty serious relationship loll
my mistake
(kill me
kill me
kill me)
I hate that you seem happier now.
I hate that I hate that.
I hate that I can't hate you.
It'd be easier.
I miss you,
but not exactly you
I miss what we were
what you were
what I thought you were
I'm sorry
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