Self

One of the only poems from 2019 I feel proud enough of to share

Depression
Is a big fucking rock sitting in the middle of your chest
Making it hard to breathe
It's a grey veil over everything
It's your legs no longer believing they can carry you
It's a spasmatic sob that threatens to expose your soul
It's 3 am emptiness
Stretching into every day
It's so much guilt
At everything you don't do
It's bad decisions
And you hoping it'll end the worst possible way
It's anger at yourself and at whatever has allowed you to keep breathing
It's your brain sitting at the bottom of the ocean
It's hating yourself and hating yourself for being

Hellcat (2019)